How to keep your sexlife up when you become parents

The first child is the biggest lifestylechanger and when you don’t even have time to go to the toilet or cook dinner, how should you find time for your partner? Between diaper changes, breastfeeding and nighttime it is difficult to find time or even desire. But it is not as impossible as it might feel.

There are many myths about how relationships will change when the first child arrives. You lose connection, communication stops completely, both are constantly tired. These are just myths. For no one can tell you how your will turn out when the child comes because it’s different for everyone. It’s very much about whether the child is healthy and so on, but even more about how you are and how your relationship is. Perhaps even more about what attitude you have. The truth is that it’s easier than one believes to have time for each other and keep your relationship alive.

In the beginning, most babies sleep up to 20 hours per day. Admittedly, food is needed every two or three hours, but a baby is never awake especially long moments. Initially, I think there’s plenty of time for quickies; Unfortunately, not everyone can use that time. For many, it takes several months to heal and get ready.

Then you can instead use that time to just be with each other. Hugging and kissing is at least as important as sex, especially when you have just become parents and everything is new and a little different.

Many parents also have difficulty in asking for help from others, such as from grandparents who like to borrow their grandchildren from time to time. If this is possible, it is actually a great opportunity for both to get a little extra-needed sleep and closeness.

Here are our best tips on how to find and find time for each other:

  • Proximity needs not be sex. Sleep close together (those nights when there isn’t a baby between you), hug and cuddle.
  • Show love and affection during the day, give a kiss in the passing and a hug every now and then.
  • Take given opportunities given, even if you won’t be able to go to the finish line. As a toddler parent can never be really sure that you won’t be interrupted, as long as you are prepared for it, a quicky can be fun. You simply have to continue when the children sleep again.

Remember, children always need more sleep than adults. The smallest nap during the day, but even when they don’t nap any longer, they usually go to bed earlier than their parents. Mum and dad have “self-time” every night;)

In the beginning, when everything is about the baby, it’s hard to feel like anything other than a mom. Make sure to get some time for yourself, to replenish and get energy and feel like yourself again beyond being a mother.

Also, make sure to take time for you as a couple and your relationship early. Moments when someone else is with the child so that you can socialize as two adults and without interruption, time to focus on each other for a while.